Thoughts Through the Sorrow

I did not realize how difficult it would be when I lost my mother in April. I miss her every minute of every day. I miss so many of the little things such as our daily phone calls, our visits, and the up to minute the text messages about the progress of our new baby. These are the things that made my life worth living every day.


I believe in the lord and I believe in his love and strength, but I can honestly say that my faith has been tested over the last few weeks. I have cried until the tears can no longer flow a felt a sudden sadness that is indescribable. Sometimes, I just want to pick up that phone and call her just to tell her I love her so much. Immediately after she had passed I called her cell phone just so I could hear her voice one more time.

I guess you do not understand how hard it is to lose a parent until it happens to you. I have had friends lose parents and of course I was incredibly sympathetic, but you can never really understand what your friend is going through. I know that pain now and I so wish I did not.

Friends and family have told me mom is in a better place. Deep down I know she is, however in my mind I do not see how she is. The place she really needs to be selfishly is with us. She needs to be there when times are tough, she needs to be playing with her grandchildren and she certainly needs to be there next week when my son is born. How can she be in a better place right now I have asked myself over and over again?

People also tell me that it will get better over time. I am not coping as I would have thought I would have been able to. I do not have my mother’s strength and courage. I did not realize the extent of the hurt or the loneliness I would feel. This should be the best time of my life and I am sure that it will get better, it is just not the same without my mother here to share it. She would have enjoyed every single minute of every day with her family.

I never want to make excuses for myself no matter what I do in my life, but I find myself saying over and over to anyone who will listen that you should cut me some slack, I am grieving here. I looked deep into my actions today and I know that my mother would not want that of me. She would not want that for anyone in my family. It is not what my mother was all about.

My mother personified strength during a crisis situation. I need to take that strength and incorporate it into my life and my being. I have to do it for my sons, my family, my friends, and especially for myself. How can you lead when you cannot find your own way? How can you show your strength to the world when you are not ready to see it for what it really is? This last year my mother told me over and over again that I am in a good place in life so go and enjoy it. I need to listen to that advice now.

Emotions run so high when you go through diversity in life. You look for answers in so many places and you already have most of them you just need to think about the difference between what the truth really is and what you want it to be. I wrote in my mom’s eulogy about all of the lessons she taught us growing up and at times over the last few weeks I threw most of them out the window. I am not sure if I was thinking just through my heart or if I was just thinking through all of the sadness that I am enduring. This is really counterproductive to everyone right now. I am so angry at the world that I do not even know myself when I look in the mirror at times. I know I am not the man I see in my reflection. I know I am not an angry person. I am a fundamentally jovial person. I know why I am angry and where the root of the anger is coming from obviously, but I have to control the anger.

I find myself wondering why with all my education I could not help in anyway. I fret over the fact I never really said goodbye. I ask god why, why, why, until I am blue in the face. There is not a why or a how, there is just finality that I cannot accept. I guess that not accepting it, puts my mother in a category of the great ones. If I accepted it without any emotion she would not have been the mother she was to us.

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Maureen Chasse (June 28, 1947 through April 21, 2010)

Maureen Chasse (June 28, 1947 through April 21, 2010)


“I love you and I will be fine, Those are the last words that my mother, one amazingly loving and strong woman uttered to us before she passed on April 21, 2010. She fought through her illness with unimaginable strength and courage, all the while making sure her beloved family was comforted each step of the way. She never ever complained about how ill she was or how much her illness was wearing her down. Her only complaint was the fact that she might not be able to see her children and grandchildren continue to grow up. Mom is just going to be in a different place then what we would have wanted, however she will be doing it side by side with her mother and father, and also a long side with the lord.

My mother and father were married for over forty three wonderful years. We were so blessed to have such wonderful caring parents. They taught us how to love, and most importantly how to raise a family. They could have cared less about themselves, they only cared that their family was happy, healthy, and well taken care of.

Look at a typical holiday in Roger and Maureen’s house. Neither on could sit still until everyone had exactly what they needed. I can hear my mom now telling my father,” to get out of the kitchen and sit down, Roger.” That was my mother, always wanting to make sure her family was taken care of.

Through my mother’s whole ordeal, I have never seen a love shared between two people like my mother and father had for one another. They were each other’s best friend and companion and we all learned that even after forty three years, love can keep growing and growing.

My mother’s proudest days where the births of her children and grandchildren. From the day my brother, sister and I were born, her love was so infectious to each of us it made us the people we are today. Some might say her greatest accomplishments in her life were the devotion she showed as a friend to all who came to know her, or by the countless hours she devoted to the community through her work with so many organizations. I believe her greatest accomplishment was how she raised her children and grandchildren. Each of us always felt that we were my mother’s favorite. We all believe that deep in our hearts. Moms’ only favorite was the person she was with at the time. It is so rare to find someone that can make everyone feel so special. When we needed someone to turn to for advice or just a hug when we made mistakes, my mother stood beside us like a gladiator. She did not care why we went astray, she only cared that we got back on the right path. Through her love and guidance we always did by getting on her back as she lead the way. She would not let us fail and thankfully we didn’t.

No matter if it was a game or a band event, my mother and father attended each one of our activities and loved being there not just because we were there children, but because our activities were so important to us. If it was important to us, it was important to my parents.

The day Autumn was born was such an extraordinary day for my parents. I have never seen two people as excited in all my life. Their little angel had come from heaven and no two grandparents could have been happier. Mom and Dad got to learn grandparenthood from the best. My mother’s parents were what Webster’s Dictionary define grandparenthood to be. Ironically, the day Autumn was born was the first day they met my wife Maureen at a New England Patriot game no less. Right from the beginning my mother told me I have finally met someone so special. Over the next four years came Benjamin, Keegan and soon to be Brogan. Mom beamed at the way her grandchildren were being raised by two wonderful mothers and one great Auntie. I know Tracy, Kelly and Maureen learned so much from my mother. Love, caring and understanding the smallest details are my mom’s greatest influence on the girls. From my grandparents, to my parents and now to us, being the best parent we can be will keep our mother’s memory alive for ever.

Some of our greatest memories came from the parking lot at Foxboro Stadium getting ready to cheer on our beloved New England Patriots. The Chasse family was so excited each and every Sunday to gather our family and friends before every game to share our stories, eat lots of food and at times have a few spirits now and then. My mom had a few bouts over the years with one of Roger’s potent Bloody Mary’s before the game. Getting her to her seat was a chore in itself. Whether the Patriots won or lost really did not matter to us. We had to teach my mother that it wasn’t always Bledsoe or Brady’s fault that the Patriots lost. Sometimes it was the defense we used to tell her and she would always smile and say, “Nah, it’s the quarterback.” Seriously, just being at each game with her family and her friends was the most import thing to her each week.

If anything could come of this week in a positive manner it was the way mom had taught us to come together in a crisis situation. I now know why mom had sixteen referee uniforms in her closet when I looked in it this week. Mom had always played peacemaker to each of us over the years. Through the good times and through the bad times mom was always our rock. Since Wednesday each of us have come together as one and loved and supported each other so we could be like mom and be fine. Mom taught us our last life’s lesson this week. Being someone’s rock will get our family through anything that God throws at us. Everyone who my mother came in contact with has a piece of her in their hearts and it now our job as her family and friends to spread to the world what made my mother who she was.

mom's tribute page
http://obits.dignitymemorial.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Maureen-Chasse&lc=4658&mid=4228455

drcrischasse@me.com

Weekly Thought Bonanza June 6th

On Sunday/Monday, I produce a column called “The Weekly Thought Bonanza”. The column is based on all of the random thoughts that run through my head all week, and trust me there are a plethora of them. I will try to share as many of these thoughts as I can, so each one of my readers can think just a little bit extra over the coming week.


First and foremost, thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for all of the thoughts and prayers I received during the last month after the death of my mother. During the next few days I will publish my mother’s eulogy which was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I feel like I have a new purpose in writing these columns, as I feel like I will be writing directly to her, in my heart and in my mind she will always be here with me. With her guidance, hopefully these columns will have a greater purpose for all.

The Boston Celtics versus the Los Angeles Lakers, can it get any better than that?

Al Gore and Tipper Gore are calling it quits. Who would have bet that they would be divorced before Bill and Hillary?

Speaking of William Jefferson Clinton, I believe he did not really have a good month of May. First, he gets caught trying to get a Pennsylvania Congressmen to leave a Senate Race and then the movie Special Relationship aired on HBO, which did not put the former president in a very good light. Ex-Presidents are supposed to be just that, an Ex-President.

When you have not written a ton over a two month span you have all these great ideas floating in your head. Problem is remembering all of those great ideas.

I know I am a little late jumping into the game, however if President Bush waited twenty something days and went golfing during the largest oil spill and economic disaster ever just imagine the backlash.

If you’re a baseball fan and didn’t get upset with the blown call that cost a Detroit Tiger pitcher a perfect game just think what instant replay would have done to correct the problem. If you don’t want replay every play, at least try a challenge system that would give each team two challenges a game for out calls. They already have replay for home runs, why not do more?

Chilean Sea Bass is a very underrated food.

Physicians estimate that by 2030, 13.5 million people a year will die of some sort of cancer. That statistic to me is downright scary.

The Sh*T my Father Says, by Justin Halpern, is absolutely laugh out loud funny!!

I am forty one years old and I now have a totally grey beard. I have been using Grecian Formula since I was twenty years old. Great having a fourteen month old and a baby due any day. I just wish hair would grow on my head and not everywhere else. Ok, too much information.

I bought the new IPAD and I love the thing! I thought the Nook was great, but an IPAD is a Nook on steroids.

With all the flavors of Doritos I think I am going to get really fat. I love putting cheese spread on each chip.

I finally got around to watching Avatar and I must say I did enjoy it. Sherlock Holmes, however was a waste of time.

My thought of the week is really not a thought, but more of a question this week. Why are sideline reporters at major sporting events still asking the dumbest questions?

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Please forward to your friends and colleagues to enjoy. The more readers I have, the more money that is raised for the Dana Farber Cancer Institute.

To receive a copy of the Hardcover or softcopy of the Well Thought out Thoughts and Opinions with a Bunch of Useless Information book, please send an e-mail to drcrischasse@me.com

voice 206-350-4670