Every Saturday I will be producing a column called “The Thought Bonanza”. This column will be about random thoughts that run through my head all week and trust me there is a lot of them. I will try share as many of these as I can so each one of my readers can spend their weekend using a little extra brain power as they get to ponder what goes through my head in a week.
Thank god for Michael Vick that he signed with the Philadelphia Eagles instead of the Cleveland Browns. If Vick scored a touchdown in Cleveland and jumped into the Dawg Pound he might feel like one of the dogs he abused.I spent a morning this week trying to explain to my mother what Twitter is. My mom was dually impressed with the technology and was even more impressed that her beloved son was now on Twitter. Trying to explain to her why I “tweet” instead of “twit” cost me far too many brain cells. I think it gave me a Twitter hangover.
My mailman as always been a huge source of entertainment for me. I have always enjoyed how he comes up the driveway mace on the hip with the funkiest sun hat you will ever see. At least three times a week I get mail for people all over town as I do not think he even checks to see if he is delivering the right mail to the right address. If I was as wrong as he was in my job I would have been fired a long time ago. Government employees with tenure, got to love it.
No matter how technically astute I am, I can never get my Blue-Ray player to open up without pulling my hair out. When you press the open button shouldn’t it just open?
I can never find a cereal that tastes good anymore. Even my beloved Fruit Loops do not taste the same as they used to. Could it be that they cut all the sugar or is it that there is no surprise in the box? I remember emptying the box in a big bowl to find the toy that either did not work or was never what it was advertised to be. Did the toy add extra flavor?
Bless the person who invented the Keurig Coffee maker. I love mine way too much.
Plaid shorts are now the newest craze. Thankfully, I have always worn them so now technically I am in style. My only problem is that all my shirts seemed to have stripes since striped shirts were the “in” thing last year. I am a walking fashion nightmare.
Is there anyone more annoying than Paula Abdul? Will she stay or will she go from American Idol has dominated the entertainment world this past week. Hey Paula, thank your lucky stars that you were on the show as a judge in the first place because if you were a contestant you certainly would have never received that ticket to Hollywood.
Can someone please tell me who Lady Gaga is?
What ever happened to just letting your dog take a poop in your neighbor’s yard while you walk your dog? Bag dog poop, are you insane? I see all these people walk their dog with their bag in hand to scoop the poop. When I take my dog for a long walk the last thing I want to do is walk with his poop in my hand for a mile. Poop is biodegradable, especially after a good rain storm.Stuart Smiley aka Al Franken is now in the US Senate. Are you kidding me. Al, you are neither good enough, smart enough and dog gone it likable enough for that job.
Get the Stuart Smiley reference there? I cannot get enough of the sun in the summer. I tan very well for a light skinned person. This is the lightest I have been in August since I was about 2 years old. I noticed this week that it is not just me. I went in to the supermarket yesterday and noticed that everyone was not tanned up at all. This June was the coldest June since 1909. So much for Al Gore’s global warming theory, eh?
Does anyone say God Bless you any more when someone sneezes?
One of the things that makes me extremely upset every morning is when I go into Dunkin Donuts and order a bagel with cream cheese; as I always politely ask the person at the register to put the cream cheese on the bagel. Every time I get in my car and open the bag I see that plastic knife with the little tub of cream cheese. How hard is it to put it on the bagel? Who wants to pull over to the side of the road to spread cream cheese with that plastic knife
?Finally my random thought of the week. Why do I buy lemon fresh Clorox for an extra forty nine cents when it does not smell anything like lemony fresh?
See you again Monday morning.
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