To throw or not to throw that is the question

Now that I have told everyone why I actually started this column I finally get to write the column in its format the way I believe will best inform and entertain the readers that have so graciously came to my column and have read and sent comments since its inception.

The other day I started to clean out one of my closets. Let me tell you now I have about five in my house that I have cluttered up. I brought the trusty old big black bag upstairs to finally try to clean out my ever shrinking closet space. We are talking about tackling one closet here people.

Time and time again, I remember my parents telling me to get rid of some of the old clothes, sneakers, or jackets that I have collected over the years. I squeezed my parents into their tiny closet in their bedroom because I took over every extra closet in the house. When you open a Webster’s Dictionary and you look up pack rat you will find my smiley face right there. Enough of the omg that is a scary thought folks.

When I started on my mission I had several emotions running through my head. Every piece of clothing, every ball cap, sweatshirt, or pair of socks I have kept means something I felt before I started the tall task of organizing. I still have my little league ball cap from my team the Red Sox. I have not worn that cap since the sixth grade. I have sweatshirts that have more holes in them than Swiss Cheese. Half my clothes are either way too big as I lost a few pounds lately or way too small. I have fat clothes and skinny clothes what can I say.

I opened the door, bag in hand and walked into the closet tripping on shoes, hats and t-shirts. My first reaction is to grab the first thing I tripped on and place it in my 100 gallon trash bag. The first item that I picked up was an old pair of Champion sneakers. I bought these sneakers at Target for 22 dollars. Champion Target sneakers ugly and uncomfortable it has put me in a dilemma. To throw or not to throw as this is the question now being processed in my head. I keep telling myself someone can use these sneakers that I have worn probably once so I make the decision to throw.

Within an hour I filled up three full bags to go out to the Salvation Army. Three bags and it feels like each bag weighs about 900 pounds. I have accomplished something. I have single handedly emptied twenty seven hundred pounds of sweaters, shirts, shoes etc. etc. from my closet. Nine hundred pounds a bag is a stretch ok, but I am trying to make a point here. There is now not just some room in this closet as I know that I will help others with the “extra” clothes I have put in each of these bags. A funny feeling has now come over me though. Did I make a mistake by getting rid of these things that I will never wear again? I keep telling myself over and over again that it is alright. They will be put to good somewhere. I was practically consoling myself over and over again when I took the clothes into the garage for others. The question is why do I need self therapy here?

Giving away clothes to good will is an honorable thing to do. A major plus to doing it is that you get to add more clothes. At the time there was something very peculiar about what I did. Stepping back I realized what those feelings were. It is not the clothes that I will miss it is the memories that those clothes bring back that will be missed. I am talking about the sweatshirt I wore to the 1994 Minnesota Vikings game where Drew Bledsoe had the game of his life. I am talking about the shirt I took of a date one night as I spilled mustard all over my shirt at a ball game. Gone are the pants that I wore the last time I went to my grandfather’s house before he passed. These are the things that I think about as I rummage through my closets to find the non fat clothes and the skinny clothes when I try to find that diamond in the ruff shirt to go to a simple night out. I will not miss the clothes it is the memories that these clothes signified.

Someone I love dearly keeps telling me to make a memory. Memories should be held in our hearts and not on a hanger. I do not need to look at a shirt to bring the memories back of my grandparents. I believe the nervousness that entered into my body by getting rid of my old clothes comes from the fact that I am afraid to lose these memories. I have thought long and hard today on how I can keep these wonderful memories in my heart forever. I never really narrowed it down in my head until I started writing tonight. You never lose these memories you just store them until something like a piece of clothing triggers your mind into thinking back to when you last wore that piece of clothing. In our pursuit of happiness we should just do some simple reflections on those wonderful memories that we all have and remember how they came to be in our hearts in the first place. I should not need to look at an old sneaker to recall any of these memories. I need to find a good thought myself when I feel a little blue. I need to keep the memories of my loved one’s who have passed alive but talking about them, sharing memories of them to people that are in my life now, and most importantly I need to not be so selfish and self absorbed and to pay homage to people in my past that have made me what I am today. I made a lot of memories and I just need to take the time and go through them all because I owe it to myself and to the people who put those memories in my heart never forget. I hope and pray that I have given someone else a memory to hold on to.

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