Self reflection time

Have you ever seen a bumper sticker that read, “What would Jesus do”? How about George Washington or even Bill Belichick? Do you ever think about how they would do things differently? Maybe it is just me, but I think asking that question is a little short sighted. You should only be asking yourself what you should do or be doing before making decisions that will impact your life?


I have definitely done a bunch of self reflection lately. There are so many things that I did over the past six months that I wish I had thought about before doing them. I wish I would have trusted my original thought process enough before I made decisions that changed my life and my future.

I should have trusted my instincts instead of making decisions based on for lack of a better word foolishness. I should have asked myself, “What should I have do that will not affect the people who love me the most?”

I know I cannot beat myself up for the rest of my life over mistakes I have made or for the decisions that I decided to make without thinking of the ramifications first. All I can really do is correct the wrongs that I did and not make the same mistakes again.

You are probably wondering what I did, well you can keep wondering and wondering; because two wrongs do not make a right. Spilling my guts out in a column is not exactly going to help me here. I guess this column is about trying to get myself into a better frame of mind. I am speaking to you, my readers, for counsel and understanding. I am writing one of those talking out loud columns where I am doing self reflection in print.

I guess I could pay a few hundred dollars an hour to a therapist to talk about some of the things that I am writing here, however why should I do that? Do they have a better answer than the one I already have? Doubtful, really really doubtful. I know the answers I just did not want to face them until now.

No one wants to face the music when they have made a mistake. Then again, no one really wants to make a mistake, I believe this wholeheartedly. You are never going to be totally exempt from the ramifications, you just need to trust enough so that when the mistake is made you can move on and learn from it.

I have always been a glass half full kind of person. I have always rather given than received. I always always tried to make people feel good about themselves in any way I could. A lot of always and never anything but an always.

The always never did really get me any where though. Sometimes you can do the best you can and it will get you nowhere. You can love and try to protect and you can believe that you are doing it for all the right reasons, except it does not work that way. You can give till your blue in the face or you can love till your heart hurts, but it really does not matter unless your honest with everyone and yourself. You cannot hide problems or rough situations and call it protecting. You cannot hope that things will work out on a promise or a hope. You have to make your own destiny, you have to face a situation head on and not deviate from that straight at it path.

Ok, so what have I learned? I learned that you cannot be everything to everyone. You have to be worried about the people who love you. Superficial friends are just that superficial. When you need a superficial friend they leave quicker than the roadrunner fleeing from a coyote. I have been burned by people more than a pilot on a stove and yet I never changed who I am. That is a mistake I will not soon repeat. I am not saying that I will be a cold hearted sob, I will never be that, but I certainly won’t be an appeaser any longer. I will no longer empower people to burn me. I will think before I do, I will be who I am without doing it for all the wrong reasons. Fair or not it is what I have to be.

When life throws you that curveball you cannot try to hit it out of the park without thinking about the how. You need to lace up the boots and adjust. Be honest with yourself and the people that love you and you will see that it all will turn out alright.





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