I think I can make you laugh

I have always thought that I could be a standup comic. While I might look funny, I have at times made people laugh. Making people laugh is one of the things that make me feel like I have a purpose on this earth. If I could just make it a living then it would be purposeful. Now that was a bit witty, don’t you think?


I have written that the belly laugh is the best thing on earth. I cannot remember a joke for the life of me. Most of the jokes that I know are strictly locker room quality. None of the one’s I know can be told at a nursing home. Not that I have visited a nursing home lately. Maybe I could learn how to sing. Then again, I spent all of the money that my parents gave me for singing lessons on baseball cards.

Jim Carey uses his body to make people laugh. His expressions are priceless. I have nothing like that in my repertoire. In fact I have no real skill in this area at all. I wish it was that easy to make someone laugh.

Dave Barry is a great comedy columnist. I have read some of my columns recently and as hard as I have tried writing about sharks and pillows are not exactly funny stuff as Johnny Carson would say. What is funny to me is when I write something that I believe might gain a laugh or two does it really make someone laugh. When I write a column with hopes of making someone laugh, do people really enjoy it? I would bet my life they do. Well maybe not my life, more like a buck. My life is too precious to bet my life on. Maybe the dollar is too much too.

I do tell a pretty good story now and then I have been told. I like the shock factor in every story I tell. I say things that should never come out of my mouth. Probably infantile, but hey it works. I am certain that I will not stop doing.

I cannot act I know that. I tried a few times with little or no success, mostly no success. I cannot live in a world of make believe, I really can’t. Maybe I already do believing that I can entertain.

I say cannot so many times lately maybe I have just become the male version of Debbie downer. That is not funny now is it? It is more like a bad case of hemorrhoids? Ok, maybe that is too much information to share in this column, but it is what it is.

I certainly try the analogy game every once in awhile. The dictionary states, an analogy is the similarity in some respects between things that are otherwise dissimilar. A few of my favorites;

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.


The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.


McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.


From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and “Jeopardy” comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.)

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.


Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.


Instant classics, if I do not say so myself. Maybe I can never have the comic genius of a Richard Pryor, but do you really have to? Bringing a smile is what it really is all about.


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