I have often wished that I could go back in time to the eighth grade and give myself a good kick in the rump roast to point me in the right direction in life. Just imagine going back in time and getting a chance to tell yourself the do’s and don’ts in life. There would certainly be more do’s than don’ts.
The obvious one would be to try harder in school, but that doesn’t really make sense considering I have my PhD. Maybe I would tell myself to not try so hard on the school work as you’re only as good as your last degree.
I would definitely tell myself to get over that awkward stage with the ladies. I remember being star struck with girls who were grades ahead of me. Boy, if I knew then what I know now, “mama mia,” is all I can say.
One of the most important things I would tell the eighth grade me is to do right by people. So many times in my life I did not do the stand up thing. I made fun of people who were not as strong as me and I did not stand up for people I should have stood up for who needed a friend. People needed me to be the boy with integrity and I would certainly change that.
I have always regretted some of the things I did as I child. While I was a boy, I was an absolute current affairs junkie. I watched the news every day and enjoyed knowing the who’s who of the world. Back then I did not know how to interpret the news. I picked my favorite people and voted for them in elections, if I liked your persona I followed you. If I did not, then I did not respect you. Hey, it was the mind of a thirteen year old boy.
I had always wished my parents were tougher on me when I was younger. Bless their hearts they loved us too much to ever be that way. When I played sports my parents cheered the loudest and yet I always felt I should have pushed myself so much harder. I coasted, when I should have spent that extra hour a day in the gym. I had drive and desire but I did not give the extra effort.
At the end of every day I wished a good night to my parents. No amount of money in the world can bring those nights back, but if I could go back in time I would appreciate those calls so much more. I miss my grandparents every day, all day.
I always wanted to be more involved in the youth group at church. I started to go to the group, but I stopped abruptly for basketball games and television. I certainly wanted to be a part of something special and rewarding, yet I did not put in the time. Something always seemed far more important.
I never made close friends when I was younger. Maybe it was because I was not into sharing with other boys my age. I certainly did not have any problems with girls. I spent night after night talking on the phone, especially to one person in particular. Those days were like a blur for so long until one day I sat and thought about all the things we talked about and the one thing we never spoke of, growing up and trying to figure out how to duplicate the times we had. I could have learned a long time ago what really truly mattered in life, but I did not.
The boy I once was grew up to be a man, a husband, a friend and most importantly a father. I hope that I will be able to look back into my life and give advice to my son and to my future children that makes sense. To give good advice you have had to have that life experience yourself. I did things that were right and I did things that were wrong. No one is perfect and that should be a part of any advice given. You need to laugh when they laugh, cry when they cry, show emotion and show that you will be a parent and not just a friend. Be there for guidance and be there when they fall. Dust them off and get them back on the path that was once in front of you. You made mistakes and you learned from every one of them. Be tough when you need to be. Push so they need to be pushed and back off when they need it.
Life is hard enough for an eighth grader today. Guns in school, peer pressures that were not there when I was in school are there in droves nowadays. Show patience, love, and be their rock. It is all you can do to be the person they need. Never live vicariously through them as that is the worst thing you can do.
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