School is here again. As children go back to school this week, I want to raise awareness that hazing and bullying have no place any more in today’s society. It should not have to be a right of passage for children and teenagers to be bullied or hazed as they enter a new grade.
Targeting other students is not new. Making other students miserable is not new. Parents and teachers might tell the targeted child that the other students are just jealous. I have even heard adults tell a child that it is his fault that the other kids pick on him. Their explanation was that he deliberately did things that caused other children to belittle him. It was all about the behavior of the bullied child.
If you are a child who is not among the popular set, why should it be that you have to be harassed by classmates? You do not have to be shy and afraid to stand up to bullies. You do not need flippant retorts to come from your mouth. You do not have to be an easy victim.
Back in the day, children kept everything to themselves and didn't even discuss the bad parts of my school days with their parents. Children just sucked it up and did the best they could. There is no need for school children to keep it in any more.
It's refreshing to see articles designed to help children deal with bullies. As teachers and parents, we can not afford to look the other way. Some kids need our help. Imagine the anxiety of going into a new grade or school, do we really need our children to feel added pressure
Have you ever been a bully? Has anyone bullied you making you feel like a victim? It all goes to fear factor. It is a power trip, not unlike the power felt by a rapist, which is not always about sex, but control and submission. We spend our lives searching for power - at any age - the power to control our lives and our destinies. It is part of the soul seeking balance.
We are lead to believe that every soul ultimately wants to be happy. This is not true. Some people have no conception of what would make them happy at a soul level.
Some thrive on power, control and drama. Peace and balance is boring, though at the soul level, at any level, it is the end goal. When power is used to harm others, a bully being one aspect of the dysfunctional use of power, things will always get out of control.
Being a bully most often begins in childhood, particularly in early teen years, triggered by puberty. Bullies almost always have emotional problems and generally are abused at home. It's what they know. It's what's familiar.
In today's world, we know that one's behavior, if traced back to family patterns, especially of abuse, looking at their DNA code; it would not be hard to find out how the bully got that way.
Those who get help will rise above it, while others will suffer their entire lives, stuck in that pattern. Bullies are in pain and self destructive. The child who is being bullied could grow up to the play the victim role if this is not addressed and overcome.
In the movies, and on TV, we learn that the bully must be 'put in his place' by one who is stronger. Sometimes the situation can be dealt with through families, the school, or other social systems.
Parents of bullies often are dysfunctional and see no problem with their child's behavior, often violent. We like to feel that the parents of the bully 'get it', but more often than not, they are wrapped up in their own dysfunctional issues, and don't help the child, often blaming it on others. The apple ... does not fall far from the tree.
Without professional help, the patterns remain, unchecked; emerging in late teen’s years when mental illness surfaces full blown. This then leads to rage disorder and violence later in life when the bully tries to function and doesn’t know how. It is, after all, a cry out for help and no one is listening, helping and healing.
Reality has always been the same, and generally about abuse, discovery and recovery to gain balance and understand that reality is a virtual experience in emotion. You don't see it until you're healed. When you've healed and you're done with the karma of that part of your journey, you look back and say, "Look how much energy I put into hurting myself and others that could have been better spent in more positive ways."
If your child is being bullied in school, on the playground, wherever, do something about it, even if you're not confrontational. Make a statement to your child about how to deal with the situation, contact the principal or teacher, and call the local authorities. Just do not let it go, for life is filled with bullies and you must show your child that you care because if you do not, who will? Being a parent is a major responsibility and letting your child be hazed or bullied is not being responsible.
Check out the youtube links on right of bullying and hazing
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